Archive for March, 2014

Microsoft SQL Server 2014 Community Technology Preview 2

Microsoft has released Microsoft SQL Server 2014 Community Technology Preview 2. Its has a lot of changes in the database side but not much in OLAP Multidimensional and Tabular, SSIS or SSRS.

Some of my favorite code comments

Shamelessly stolen from

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will 
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets 
// released into the public.
/// <summary>
/// This returns true if this control is supposed to be doing anything
/// at all for this request. Richard thought it was a good idea to load
/// the entire website during every request and have things turn themselves
/// off. He also thought bandanas and aviator sunglasses were "gnarly, dude."
/// </summary>

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
// Dear maintainer:
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
stop(); // Hammertime!
// Replaces with spaces the braces in cases where braces in places cause stasis 
   $str = str_replace(array("\{","\}")," ",$str);
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me.
 * Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
 * night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.
// I don't know why I need this, but it stops the people being upside-down

x = -x;

Cubum autem in duos cubos, aut quadratoquadratum in duos quadratoquadratos, 
et generaliter nullam in infinitum ultra quadratum potestatem 
in duos eiusdem nominis fas est dividere cuius rei demonstrationem 
mirabilem sane detexi. Hanc marginis exiguitas non caperet.

..and translated into English:

(It is impossible to separate a cube into two cubes, or a fourth power into two fourth powers, or in general, any power higher than the second into two like powers. I have discovered a truly marvellous proof of this, which this margin is too narrow to contain.);  // ... "a doo run run".

   * This method leverages collective synergy to drive "outside of the box"
   * thinking and formulate key objectives into a win-win game plan with a
   * quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering key players to drive-up
   * their core competencies and increase expectations with an all-around
   * initiative to drive down the bottom-line. I really wanted to work the word
   * "mandrolic" in there, but that word always makes me want to punch myself in
   * the face.
private void updateFileCountLabel() {
options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!